No Thank You
Posted on October 29, 2007 - Filed Under Teeni Poem
This applies to comment spam, email spam and even snail-mail spam.
Dear Spammer,
I guess you really know me well
why else would you try to sell
free naked pics of A-Jolie
or the poor pop soul we call Britney.
And to really top it off
you think you know what type of stock
I might want to sell or buy
Maybe you’re a private eye?
Did you ever really think
I’d give your offer more than a blink
before I toss it in the can
to exercise the garbage man?
I don’t need a new rip-off watch
My cabinets are quite top-notch.
My bathtub does not need refacing
and my lawn doesn’t need replacing.
I don’t need a new ring-tone
and I do not care to refinance my home.
But here is something we CAN agree to,
Don’t call me, I’ll call you.
Popularity: 5% [?]
Comments
18 Responses to “No Thank You”
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hope...
I hate spammers.Thats why i delete all of them….But,I havent gotton any spammers on my blog YEt!
::crosses fingers::
Good. I hope you don’t. They are a pain. I keep getting them but they get caught in the Akismet widget. It does a great job.
…and I certainly don’t need a p*nis enlargement!
LOL. Yeah, I would have included that but not much rhymes with “enlargement!”
HA! This could be my mantra and it also applies to telemarketers too. I wish I could throw them in the garbage can or worse yet, the recycle bin. See how they like the reprocessing facility!
Okay maybe I am not that mean but really, don’t call me. I don’t need another credit card thankyouverymuch.
Oh yeah - those ones kill me especially when they forget you already have their card and they offer it to you again at a better rate!!!! Grrrr.
CAN someone please confirm thats its just my sick mind and Beth Ellen did not just use the word i am thinking of?
LOL. Oh well, none of us here at the Tea Room is perfect so we’ll just overlook that little lapse.
Ha - I like it. Do you think we could try and get our own back. All your readers should copy this and pass it on to their readers ad infinitum and we should all send it to spammmers en masse at midnight on Halloween. Now there’s a thought. If only ….. ;-).
From Sleepless in East Devon
Great idea Penny! If only we could return that favor to them. I mean after they’ve been so thoughtful of us and our possible needs for so long and all. heehee. That’d show ‘em!
Ha ha! Too funny!
I HATE SPAM TOO!
I see a spam comment caught in my Akismet net right now. They obviously must have thought I was calling them with this post.
Well, I didn’t mean for that to sound dirty…it is the bulk of spam that I get…
PENIS….penis, penis, penis. There it’s been said. Now everyone get over your giggles and back to work! LOL.
Okay Beth Ellen I don’t have a problem with it i just wanted to make sure i wasnt going crazy
yes I like the akismet spam too! I always get comments like “this was merrily”; they don’t make any sense! and I would add to your poem “i have no desire to buy viagra”. i don’t know how many spam i get for those things. aagh.
i like akismet.
Oh yeah, the Viagra one is almost a given. I get that one all the time. I don’t think I’m manly enough for them. LOL.
Ok ok… (blush)
hahaha! Aint that the truth!
that’s a good one, MsTeeni!
Thank you!
I don’t get much spam at my main email address but I do get one faithfully every day with the subject, “antibarbie (replaced with my full name) bigger penis.”
Which would be quite a feat for them to accomplish since they would have to grow one for me first!
Oh they practically promise THAT too! LOL!
Oh, I love it!!!!! I have been getting a ton of spam lately!
Maybe we should just consider it flattering. I do think my level of spam rises with the level of views at my blog so I’ll just figure if I got spam that meant I was popular today. LOL.
LOL your poem was great Teeni!
Akismet Rocks. I get TONS of spam daily and just refuse to even look at the content.
I like Calamity’s theory..we are popular!
I hate spam… All kinds.
Nice poem.
I really hate spam. The only thing it’s good for is as a topic for blog posts and comments.
Unfortunately, sometimes Askimet “catches” legitimate comments. On my “Daily Chronicles of the American Civil War” blog, Askimet has caught 176,324 spam comments. There’s no way I can check though the several hundred it gets each day to see if there are any legit comments. Oh well!
Did I mention that I hate spam?
LOL. Mike, I had to laugh because THIS comment of yours got caught in my spam filter so it proves your point that legitimate comments DO sometimes get caught. I always have to remind myself to check the filter. I don’t want to miss any comments from my buds!
Akismet rocks - to date it has caught over 4,800 spams. When I wrote my post All Bald Men Do Not Look Alike all the comments were marked as spame because of the word ‘bald’ so it does catch some fake positives. But overall I am very impressed with how well Akismet works.
You can forward those links of Ms Jolie to me if you want ;). The funny thing is, I have a post that I put in my to do pile that was similar to this, only mine was rhyming Dr Suess style.
LOL about the Jolie links. Ahhh, great minds think alike.
You should definitely post that! I would love to hear your Doctor Seuss-style poem! I love it when you get all creative at your place, Thomas. It’s like you are showing a little leg. LOL. **cat calls are heard in the audience**
teeni - I am glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read
“I love it when you get all creative at your place, Thomas. It’s like you are showing a little leg. LOL. **cat calls are heard in the audience**”
I would have shot beverage out my nose. Great comment!
I will dust off my spam post and see where I end up. I will let you know when I post it.
Yay - thanks Thomas! Glad you liked the comment (and glad you didn’t have a beverage so you won’t have to go replacing your monitor/keyboard!) . heehee. Gotta keep things interesting! And I’m really looking forward to your spam post!
I Do Not Like You Spam I Am
My post does not concern cars, bars or the tropics
Your comments on these are all off topic
I do not write on porn or enhancements to the body
Your comments are rude, using language that’s naughty
Although tempting, your links to drunk celebriti…
Ah HAHAHA! Good one!