Dealing with the Nasty
Posted on November 24, 2007 - Filed Under Got Me Thinking, Positive Attitude, Vent
I have been extremely fortunate about having such a positive experience with my blog. So believe me, I’m not complaining with this post but I have been thinking about this type of thing lately and how best to deal with it.
My little rant is because when I returned from an almost-drama free Thanksgiving dinner, I got home to find that I had gotten a negative comment on a video over at YouTube. The video in question was my napkin folding advice to my nieces and nephews, which you can hopefully tell by the context of the post, was done in jest and in fun. Hopefully it was obvious that it was not seriously meant to be an instructional video on the origami-like real napkin folding practices that exist in the finer cultures. I thought the mismatched plasticware would sort of tip people off to that. Unfortunately, at YouTube, people can view my video out of the proper context and maybe they think I’m being totally serious with my video. Thus, I received a negative comment from a young person telling me that my video was dumb and pointless, and not fancy at all. So, in reality, she just about said that it lived up to it’s title. I have received a LOT of hits on that video at Youtube and I am sure most of the hits are from people making fun of it because, like my commenter, they were seeing it out of context. Knowing that isn’t as bad as knowing that someone took the time to be mean. She carelessly forgot every mother’s advice to not say anything if she had nothing nice to say. I have feelings too and can be pretty sensitive - I’m only human after all. But aside from my feelings, I also have a couple of additional problems with this type of behavior.
1. The young person who wrote this did so without considering the title of the video, or that she might have been viewing it out of context. She felt free to leave a negative comment without cushioning the blow or having any tact. I wonder how she’d feel if someone did that to her mom, friend, sister. And I wonder just what this says about her upbringing. I talked with my niece about it last night. My niece has been doing lots of videos and things since before I knew how to and she told me she has received many worse comments than that herself. I was really surprised at how mean some people can be to strangers for no good reason. But I was proud of my niece for her great attitude.
2. It wasn’t a smart move on her part since I could just as easily go follow her back to her site (you must be logged in to leave comments at YouTube, so it is simple to trace back to someone) and leave nasty comments there as well, thereby starting a little internet flame war. Of course I didn’t do that, but it did cross my mind in my initial defensive anger. But let’s say I wasn’t the wonderfully well-balanced (heh) person that I am or that I wasn’t the person that I portray myself to be….like I could be some testosterone-mutated guy who purposely puts out odd videos hoping for a reaction only to then go and stalk some poor young thing. It could happen. And it’s a scary thought I wouldn’t wish on anyone or their child.
3. It also wasn’t a smart move because it did turn the tables so that I went to her site and saw some of her videos. Guess what? She really had no place critiquing mine because her videos were no cinematic masterpieces either. They were actually just what you would expect from every.single.high.school.girl.taking.videos.of.her.friends. Fortunately I’m not as mean as she is so I didn’t comment to tell her what I thought. I just left her video site quietly and pondered what my niece had told me.
So although at first it really did hurt my feelings, I started thinking about it and how I could dwell on it and stress over it or I could empower myself to look at things differently. It’s only one negative comment on a silly video that was meant to be funny. I should have expected even more than that as far as negative comments. But in the big picture, it isn’t important. The audience that I meant it for, my blog readers, got it and that is all that matters really. I only use Youtube to host my videos but they are not really put there to be in a contest or commented on or rated by a bunch of strangers. It’s just free video hosting which is about all my income can afford at the moment.
So I’m going to remember the important things. I’m going to remind myself of all the good and the laughs/smiles that my video did provide. I’m going to put on a happier attitude. And I will arm myself with all the wonderful tools that I have at my disposal to keep myself thinking positively and keep me from sinking deep into despair. Oh, my secret weapon that I use over negative comments like that? Glad you asked. This little buddy gives me immense power and allows me to continue on my way without a second thought. You might like to get to know this pal for yourself. Let me introduce you to my friend, whom I call Del for short! 
Del is a hard worker. And at the click of a button, Del will get rid of all traces of negativity for you and allow you to go on your merry way. 
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22 Responses to “Dealing with the Nasty”
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LOL that is a great post i simply agree here! I would have done what you did
That delete button is also good on blogs you wouldnt believe how many nasty comments I have received on my blog! SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEAN!!!!!
It just makes me even more surprised at how fortunate I’ve been. Sorry you have had to deal with this yourself, Kaylee.
Oh Teeni, I’m so sorry! How could anybody be mean to you?! It makes ME angry! You are the sweetest person EVAH!
I guess the fact that she is just a silly, immature little girl with no sense of humour helps to put it all in perspective. You have a great attitude about it all.
KEEP SMILING!
((hugs))
Thanks, Hannah. Of course you are right - it does help to keep it in perspective. And I know I’m far from perfect but I just don’t expect things like that from strangers (I’d at least have liked the chance to know someone and had the opportunity to do something to deserve that type of behavior - LOL) but oh well. People always amaze me. Sometimes in a good way though so I’ll try and remember that.
That’s pretty much what youtube is for. Little kids go there to troll videos and leave really stupid, look at me I’m still on a first grade reading level, sort of comments. You could have a video up there about your newborn baby dying and these kids would find a way to make fun of it.
Ignore them. They are just immature little losers looking for people to mess with.
Sad that such a good service is abused like that. I suppose they think it’s funny. Thanks for your sympathetic comment. I will try to ignore them (oh how I really love the Delete button and the ability to turn comments off over at YouTube).
I like “Del,” too!
It’s unfortunate that some people have to be like that…
**sigh** Oh, well, I can’t let it keep me down. It is not worth it.
Aww sorry that you had that happen Teeni!
It sure sucks doesn’t it.
SO immature and stupid.
Probably she hasn’t any idea what “irony” or “wit” means..
YES “DEL” is a very good friend indeed!
You have inspired me to write about an experience that I had when first writing in forums..
(visit me later and I will bore you with it..lol)
Yes, you are probably right, Merri. She seemed young enough for that but old enough to know that she was mean and her comments uncalled for. But life will deal her it’s own blows I’m sure so I won’t wish anything bad on her. I’ll just continue on my way. Oh, I would love to read about your experience but I never find your posts boring!
That makes me angry. Again, it must be kept in perpective based on the age of the commenter but none the less it’s scary because it really is a reflection on bigger things.
I think Del is the best and I love how you made a rant funny by adding that at the end.
I think it’s really best to stick to the simple adage that if you have nothing nice to say, zip it. Or maybe that’s not taught anymore? Are we THAT old?
No, we’re NOT that old!!! I’m even younger than most of you now since I started counting backwards!!! LOL. But the good thing about jerks like her is I get to feel like I’m “using” them when I post about them after an incident like this, so it gives me a little taste of revenge. Ooooh - I really am kind of evil. Muhahaha!
Counting backwards… so THAT’s your secret. I am SO stealing that one!
And yay for quiet mature revenge..
Wait, is that an oxymoron?
Ah, who cares!
Mature revenge? Oxymoron? Huh? Did I hear something? Nah. Didn’t think so. (Selective hearing is one thing I am definitely going to take advantage of in my advanced age)! LOL
I am sorry that you had to deal with this, Teeni. Must be something with the moon. Seems a lot of people are feeling the urge to be just plain mean! ((HUGS))
Thanks Calamity! **hugs you back** - yes, I think the bloodsucking vampires came out or something. Sheesh.
Don’t let it get to you. You are WONDERFUL!
Thanks so much Paige! You really are sweet and I’m so glad I “met” you!
http://merrimerri.wordpress.com/
Teeni come to my blog, I have commented(and linked back to you)
((hugs))
**hugs back** Thanks, Merri - sorry it took me so long to get over there. I was out most of the day. But thank you for sharing your experience too! I really do appreciate it, friend.
Teeni,
I’m so sorry this person left a rude comment. I guess all of us experience it eventually. I used to be very hurt when I got negative comments, but I’ve come to dismiss them without much thought. Whereas I used to delete them, I leave them in the comments now. I have found that the people who leave those types of comments usually come back to your blog to look for a response. Leaving the comment there lets all your other readers discover what an idiot the commenter is. And you’d be surprised at how many of your readers will mention that in their comments!
I hope all is well with you!
Wow. Thanks, Tish. That is another way of looking at it that I certainly hadn’t considered. You are very wise, indeed. I am so glad you visited today and provided that new perspective for me!
For the rest of my regular readers who aren’t familiar with her - this comment is from Tish at Blogs We Love. I have the link in my sidebar where you should go and visit her and the rest of the neat group of people there. While you are there, take a moment to answer your ten questions to enter their monthly contest for a free blog review at their site! It’s a quick and easy way to increase traffic at your site and I will be posting more about that in the near future.
i went to the video hoping to see what she had written, but before finishing reading your entry. delete is probably best. a few weeks ago i had an onslaught of comments on a video of my rabbit getting a bath. one person pointed out the reasons why rabbit don’t like water and expressed concern for my rabbit. that was fully acceptable. then i had three other people simply state “You’re Sick.” or something along those lines. I sent one of them a message asking for more of an explanation - it wasn’t an intelligent, informative comment. I pointed that out. Her response wasn’t intelligent either. But what can i say… i hear ya, and know that not every young person is crude like that.
Hi Jen! FYI - her comment was basically, “This was pointless and dumb, and totally not fancy.” So she pretty much described her own comment as well as the description I had already provided for my video. I just feel like if she didn’t like it, fine, it really wasn’t put there for her and she could have gone on her way. But for her to take the time out of her day to post a comment like that was hateful. Why bother unless you are looking for trouble. Anyway, that is horrible that people immediately jump to conclusions over those things, like in your case with the rabbit. Sheesh - you were bathing a bunny, not putting it in a STEW for crying out loud. Thanks for sharing your experience though. And yes, I realize not all young people are like that. I would assume more of them are NOT like that than are. It just stung a bit because it was so uncalled for. Again my positives outweigh negatives on line so I really am fortunate and have a wonderful circle of blog buddies. Thanks for being one of them!
You might get them now and again. I have received a few on Vegan Momma. Depending on how they are I might leave them but I’ll aways respond back in a polite manner.
In fact my tag on each of my comments states…
So far it has the desired effect and those who think might be thinking about pulling that nonsense hopefully realize that you will never pull me out of character.
I will shoot holes through whatever nonsense they are saying but I’ll be respectful and will let them know they are more than welcome to visit anytime but if they disrespect my virtual home be prepared to visit my virtual door. I don’t delete them but I’ll put them on my Spam list.
I don’t think you can do that on YouTube. I’ll use YouTube occasionally but not often simply because I don’t have full control since it is a free website. However I can limit the people who have access to it and I do on some of the videos I have added there.
I realize that at times people say things they regret online (just like they do in person) because they let their emotions get ahead of rational thinking. I take that into consideration also.
I have had a few people apologize for their comments but for the most part out of my 9107 comments I’ve only had about five negative comments.
I guess that is why it bothered me - I got spoiled by all the great comments I get here!
LOL. Thanks, Opal!
Wow, Teeni. Little girls acting all big and tough over the internet. Yup, they’re big and bad aren’t they? Leaving mean ol’ comments at your videos, psshhh! Don’t let it get ya down ..
I like how you turned it around for the better .. Del is the herrroooo!
LOL! Thanks, Ms. Red. You do have a way of cheering me up. So glad you stopped by!
Hey Teeni,
Oh these kids today - no respect for their elders and also quite clueless. The thing about the Internet is it allows people to behave badly because (they think) there will be no repercussions.
I’m glad you didn’t utlimately let the little snit get to you. What the heck does she know? In three years, she’ll have two kids and be living in a trailer park, wondering where he 19 year old husband is. Yeah, let Del take care of it.
WC
Oh my! I do enjoy thinking about your predicted scenario. I hope that doesn’t make me too evil! Thanks for lifting my spirits, WriterChick!
Isn’t it funny how that when people talk about our little projects it just kills us? Ha ha ha. But I mean, how we can help it to not feel pride in the little things we do right? (#):) Well done dealing that little…That little… Such and such. (#);D
BTW, happy belated Thanksgiving!
Aw, hi Bush!! So good to see you! You are right - we do take our little projects too seriously. I know I do. Even my goofy videos. LOL. The funny thing is I tried to prepare myself for an onslaught of negativity for that particular video. It still hurts when it happens though. It could have been worse though so I’m just getting over myself and moving on. Thanks for seeing things the way you do. I love your insight into having pride in our little projects. It really is true. And thanks for the belated Thanksgiving wish. I hope everyone got through the holiday okay!
you rock.
don’t let anyone ever make you feel otherwise.
Thanks, buddy! It sure doesn’t hurt having you guys around!
Totally OT but…
when I first saw the title I busted out laughing yah know “doing the nasty” is a slang term, right?
I don’t mind constructive criticism it helps me improve, but the troll babies have got to go. I do think I’ll get my fair share of criticism with the new technology venture I’m entering.
I’ll be on the only woman surrounded by men. It reminds me of my corporate days. That should be enough fuel right there for some, if they are petty and think women don’t know a flying flip about technology, to come out of the woodworks.
I say bring it on however, as long as the criticism is constructive it will be a nonissue if it’s petty I’ll be polite, but I’ll put them on ignore.
Oh, yeah. I knew about the slang. The levels I will sink to in order to get hits at my site. LOL. Seriously, I’ve always loved puns and plays on words so I do like to use those to grab attention at times. Yeup - you will certainly be in a good position to become a target if you are the only woman surrounded by men but I think it will quickly be evident that you know what you are talking about. I hope you don’t have to ignore anyone but it is nice to know that you have that power if you need it. Good luck on this latest adventure. I don’t think you had mentioned it to me before.
Some people just don’t think. I like that video!! I left a nice comment for you on it!! That delete button comes in handy so often!!
Thank you Melsie! I appreciate it. I didn’t see your comment. Did you leave it at YouTube - I think I have turned comments off over there.
Some people just aren’t happy unless they are inflicting misery on other people. Your post reminds me of one of my favorite xkcd comics:
I will try to embed the comic here -
If that doesn’t work, the comic is at:
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/youtube.png
Read the comic, and don’t let these people bring you down. They foster on bringing others misery. So if you let them hurt you, they win.
I would take the comments personally too, but I hope that you are able to realize the context of the comments and dismiss them.
Thanks for the encouraging words, Thomas! I won’t let them win. That comic was a riot. The comments did look exactly like the comments you see at YouTube. LOL. I’m so glad you came by!
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