Dear Shabby
Posted on December 16, 2007 - Filed Under Contest, Writing/Blogging
This post is an entry in a contest that AntiBarbie is running at her site. It is a made-up letter to a made-up advice columnist. Go to her site for details about it. You can participate too if you like. If not, I hope you enjoy my post anyway.
Dear Shabby,
It is with great trepidation that I am writing this letter to you. It is of the utmost importance that nobody learn of this transmission. The consequences to my professional and personal life would be dire, indeed. I trust that you would not violate any confidentiality agreements or codes of conduct and that I won’t face repercussions of the sort if this letter were, perhaps, posted on some random blog somewhere.
I am a man who was raised by a gentle and kindly elderly couple. Recently I was contacted by my biological father. He never did explain why he hadn’t been around for my younger years. However, he did give me some valuable information about myself. Apparently, I was not born of humankind, but was actually born thousands of years ago on a planet called Yello Wawa. Although I appear humanoid, I obviously have some very important genetic differences, aside from the fact that I still look only 32 despite my several thousand years of age.
My father also informed me that all Yellow Wawayans possess a super power that humans do not. This has certainly shed some light on a number of situations for me. As it turns out, my unfortunate super power is the ability to make people laugh until they wet themselves. I now understand why so many of my dates ended rather abruptly, when I’m sure that I behaved as nothing other than the perfect gentleman. It also explains that strange stain and odd smell coming from the passenger seat of my car.
Oh, Shabby, please help me. How can I control this power of mine? And if I cannot control it, could you please help me to find some way to harness it and use it for the greater good of all mankind? At the very least, can you offer any assistance in the dating department?
Sincerely,
Uri N. Hotwater
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13 Responses to “Dear Shabby”
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That is funny!
It’s a good thing I just went
LOL. Glad you liked it, Mike!
Bwahahahahahaha!
good one!
Uri. N. Hotwater!
oh and about the posting on a random blog somewhere?
Genius!
Thanks, Kami! If you liked it you should really check out the link to AntiBarbie’s contest site - in the comments section you will find links to other people who entered her contest. They are really all far superior to mine and are fun reads!
Thats a great one Teeni.Nice JOB!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, Kaylee! Nice to see you all smiles!
haha!! this made my day, Teeni :0D
So glad to hear that VeggieGirl!
Hope you are well!
Hahaha!! Great one, Teeni!!
;-)
Thanks! Glad it made you laugh! That’s my superpower you know. Look out below! LOL
Great letter Teeni! I love it. It is going to be so hard to choose a winner.
Well, I sure don’t expect to win - I’ve seen some of the competition and you have some very talented people participating in this contest. But I’m glad I could be part of it. It’s fun.
Great letter! I think I may have peed a little.
Your powers must be very strong.
LOL! Thanks Witchypoo! Great comment! Welcome to the Vaguetarian Tea Room. So nice to see you here. Friendly faces are always welcome!
Oh this is really funny! LOL Great job!!
Thanks, Calamity. Glad you liked it!
Bravo. That was hilarious.
Thank you, libdrone, and welcome to the Vaguetarian Tea Room. Glad you liked my entry.
There were so many great ones. I can’t wait to read all the entries - I know I missed a few. 
hahehehahehhehe!!! Oh I love it. I was hoping you would write about this! This one should win fo’ sho!
Oh, and I think that when Uri goes on a date, he should automatically offer the Lady a Depend.
Oh, yeah - that will definitely ensure that he gets a chance at a second date. LOL. Glad you liked it, buddy. Did you write one of these too?
[…] Andy, Teeni and Bun-Girl Thanks for all your […]
This story needs a urinalysis….
Oooooh - good one, Beth Ellen. First you’re all quiet, then you come out with a real zinger! LOL.
[…] I have finally come to a decision. The winning letter shown below was posted by Teeni of the Vaguetarian Tea Room. Dear Shabby had some fun with it. I’ll let you all know when the header is done so you folks […]