It’s Take Toast to Work Day
Posted on April 7, 2008 - Filed Under Cat
That’s what I told my husband this morning as he left for work. But he didn’t buy it. Toast remains in the house with me today. But you really can’t blame me for trying to escape the ginger critter for a while. After all, he is both the bane of my existence and the apple of my eye. I wrote a bit on how we got our female cat, Jam, here. I figured it was only fair to tell a bit about our male, Toast, as well.
Bane of my existence? “Really?,” you ask. “Isn’t that a little extreme?” Well, let me fill you in and you can decide later.
When we brought Toast home as a mere tiny ball of orange fur and ears a few years ago, the first thing he did was find his way into the platform under our waterbed. The platform, in a bird’s eye view without the water mattress on top, would look like this:
So, there the little fuzzball stayed and cried so pitifully that I couldn’t take it and I decided he had to be rescued because he might never find his way out. He would be scared and hungry, I pleaded with TGH. We didn’t have a kit for the waterbed as we had obtained it used, from a friend. So we had to unplug the water mattress and repeatedly fill a bucket with the water, dumping it out our second floor window for a couple of hours until it was empty so we could get at the kitten and free him. Eventually, we got to him, a little wetter for the wear (WE were wet, not the kitten). And we took apart the waterbed, never to put that possible kitten death trap together again.
Fast forward to a young adult Toast - the awkward little teenager who irritated our Jam by his mere existence. She wanted nothing to do with him and all he wanted to do was follow her around. When he wasn’t doing figure eights around my legs or stalking Jam, he would be scratching the wallpaper off the walls, or sitting on TGH’s computer, or hanging on the window screen to be let in or out (we used to let them outside, but not anymore). He had a habit of running to his “safe” place - a wicker travel basket I had bought him to take him to the vet’s with - whenever he was being scolded by us or retaliated against by Jam. He also chewed off most of the wicker around the door to the basket so that we couldn’t use it to bring him to the vet’s anymore and it just became another lounging place for Toast.
One summer night, Toast was outside and he hadn’t come in for dinner time. When TGH and I finally went to bed around midnight, I started to hear my boy, crying from a bit of a distance through the open window screen. I couldn’t sleep knowing he was out there crying and possibly stuck or in peril somewhere. So I went out in my pajamas to see what was up.
I finally found him at the end of our road on top of an old storage building that he couldn’t find his way down from. Apparently, it was easy to jump from the narrow tree branch to the rooftop, but not so easy to go from the rooftop to the narrow branch to get down. So I had to run back inside and pull TGH out to get a ladder. We did and the ladder was too short. Plus, Toast would come no way near the edge of the roof to be rescued.
We then tried to devise a ramp with all the pieces of leftover wood from home improvement projects in our basement, screwing and nailing them together until it was long enough to lean up against the side of the building for Toast to come down. Remember, this was all in the middle of the night. Finally, we had to ask our neighbors (lucky for us, they were still awake) to borrow another ladder, one that was taller than ours. They happened to have one so we were in luck! TGH put it against the building and climbed up. But Toast would not go any way near the edge or close enough to TGH so he could be rescued.
After watching this a few minutes, a lightbulb finally went off in my head and I ran back into the house. I grabbed Toast’s little refuge wicker basket and ran back out to pass it up to TGH. Well, TGH had his doubts, but he brought it back up the ladder as far as he could and when Toast saw his wicker basket, he jumped right in. Rescue mission accomplished!
Our cats love to be involved in whatever we are doing around the house. One day, Toast followed TGH down the basement so TGH could work out. Well, I guess Toast was really interested in the pulley system of the weight machine and tried to play with it by swatting at it with his paws. And got his paw stuck. I heard a blood-curdling cat scream that wouldn’t stop and I heard TGH calling for me from the basement. When I got down there ( I swear my feet never touched a step on the way down), I saw TGH on his back on the weight bench, holding the weights above his chest and Toast trying to back away from the equipment but apparently not able to because his paw was somehow trapped. I was horrified and my heart was broken to see the young cat in pain and scared.
TGH excitedly asked me to look down and see which way he should move the weights he was balancing over his chest so that Toast could be freed without further damage. I’m still amazed that TGH even figured out what happened from his vantage point. Great - even though TGH was holding all that weight, the pressure was all on me. If I chose the wrong way, Toast’s little paw would get hurt again, but we couldn’t dally too long as Toast was panicking and liable to hurt himself more. “Up, but slo-o-o-wly,” I chose. Then, “No, down, DOWN,” when I could finally see which way the gears were working. Finally Toast became free and ran up to his hidey hole.
I was relieved he was able to run, but he wouldn’t let us close enough to him to see the damage for a couple of hours. When I did get close enough, I could see his paw was swollen up like something you’d see in a cartoon. His little paw was the size of a big ole hamburger, or so it appeared to me. At the vet’s, we found that Toast really had only received a blood blister between his cat “fingers,” and had pulled muscles in his “arm” when trying to pull away from the machine. Otherwise, there was no damage. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was thinking they’d have to amputate or something. And in a few days, his paw was back to normal and you would never have known the trauma that had so recently visited us.
Now here’s a mystery that has yet to be solved. One day, I was walking by Toast as he sat in the top drawer of a built-in dresser, so he was at my eye-level. Well, rude thing that he is, he yawned right in my face. And, to my horror and disbelief, I saw that he had a forked tongue! Really, WTF? I knew he was a little devil by now, but this was too much, even for Toast! I had to look in his mouth again to see it. I was able to wrestle his mouth open and there it was - a forked tongue! It wasn’t perfectly evenly divided like a snake’s tongue, and it hadn’t looked like that the last time I had seen it. I racked my brain trying to figure out how or when something like this could have happened to him.
I still have no answers. My theory (and the vet’s who sewed his tongue back together) is that he possibly jumped from too high a spot or fell from a spot in surprise and accidentally bit through his own tongue.
The vet also said that tongues heal quickly so we have no idea how long it was like that before I noticed. But my thinking was that it couldn’t have been too long as I would have noticed him having trouble eating and drinking - after all, cats use their tongues to lap up their water, and I like to think that I take notice of my pets and any odd behavior. Toast is not a big complainer though so I have to watch him like a hawk. And you’ll be happy to know that his tongue healed up so well with dissolving sutures that you can’t even tell it had been injured. And he has no trouble eating or drinking as can be attested to by his 14 pound girth.
Toast loves to bound onto our half sleeping chests in our beds from the floor without warning and purr into your face. You can pet him when HE feels like it. If you play with him too long, he gets irritated and will attack you. He likes to drink out of your water glass if you leave it abandoned, so we are reduced to using only narrow mouthed glasses. He likes to scratch our furniture and our wallpaper to shreds. And he comes running to hide behind my legs if Jam goes after him, even though she is half his size. He’s the furry son I never had.
So, yes, he is the bane of my existence and he is quite the little booger. But he’s MY little booger and I love him. 
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19 Responses to “It’s Take Toast to Work Day”
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Oh he has a personality the size of NYC! I love cats. They all look very similar but that’s where it ends, they each are their own people… and oh yes, they are people just ask them!
What a guy! You can’t help but love him and be perfectly exasperated by him at the same time. I have two human sons who do the same to me:-)
Thanks for understanding where I’m coming from, Kami! It’s so true! (How is it that you could say it in two paragraphs and it took me a page and a half? LOL)
The title totally intrigued me! What a great name- toast.
I know what you mean about their personalities.. Ours are kind of crazy and quirky. Perhaps pets take on personality traits from their owners..
LOL. I don ‘t think I want to believe that about pets taking on their owner’s personality traits. That probably doesn’t speak well of me. LOL. But as far as cats, I do agree that they all have their own little cattitudes.
What a personality!! Wow! And I am so amazed at the fork tongue - that’s bizarre! I guess biting through it would be the most sensible scenario, but I always thought tongues “grew back” quickly so who knows? What a little devil!
I am also amazed at the forked tongue still. The vet DID say they heal quickly but I still can’t believe I never noticed him in pain or bleeding or anything - the poor little booger. But of course, as soon as I noticed it, we got it taken care of. I just with I knew how it happened so I could make sure it would never happen again, you know? Protective cat-mom, that’s me!
I’ve got two beasts of my own. One eats and the other one sleeps.
Hey Mac! Yeah, I watched one of yours leave the room when you played Rock Band on the video cam! LOL. Seriously, you haven’t posted about your little pets in a while. Hopefully all is well.
Warrior Woman won’t let me look after her cats because I hiss at them. Hey, I’m just establishing alpha dominance. The biggest cat hisses and has the biggest claws. I only do that when they bring their litterbox feet on the table though.
I don’t like my cats on the tables or countertops either. The exception is we have a garden window over the kitchen sink that they like to sun in. I allow them to get on the counter only to access that window. The rest of the counter is off-limits!
Aww! That first picture is soooo cute! Such a trouble maker but so adorable!
LOL. So true, Paige. I think they are so cute when they are little because that is what saves them when they later become little devils. Kind of the same for human babies and teenagers, don’t you think?
That cat is almost as bad as some boys I know
Must be a male thing? LOL
He sounds so lovable he makes me want a cat. His kitten photo is adorable. I think I adore him.
LOL. Thanks, Wendy! He doesn’t have his gorgeous kitten blue eyes anymore. They are gold now. But he is such a Mama’s boy, that I can’t help but love and want to protect him. He could probably seriously do some damage to me if he wanted since he is such a big and strong cat. But he is usually too busy doing figure eights around my legs and trying to kill me that way. heehee
This was quite fun to read girl. I love cats…I got a kick out of your stories.
Thanks, buddy! Good to see you around!
Hi! I finally managed to stop by. LOL. Cats are funny.
Welcome to the Vaguetarian Tea Room, Dragon Lady! I always see you over at Mac’s - it is nice to have you. Friendly faces are always welcome.
Mine love drinking water out of anything that isn’t their water bowl.
We had a water feature which suited them perfectly until they ran into it and unfortunately it was glass - it fell over and smashed into zillions of pieces.
I’ve always preferred plastic cups so I just bought some really nice ones and I can live with the drinking water out of abandoned glasses thing - it is when I am still drinking it that I get upset!
Great post Teeni.
Cheers,
Snoskred
Hi Snos! LOL @ the abandoned cups. That is too bad that they broke the glass waterer you had for them. My hubby says our cats are like kids and because of them, we can’t have nice things. I think I’ll have to get some nice plastic cups like you did.
Awes.. I love Toast.. He reminds me of Wiggy… only.. smarter..
ANd he’s bigger.. XD
Oh yes, he’s BIG. When he’s laying on your chest in the morning like a cement block, there is no denying it. LOL
Oh wow, what a cat! I love the names too - Jam and Toast - great!
I remember losing my cat once when he was a kitten (a big furry tabby called Oliver). I looked and looked for about 10 hours but no sign of him at all and it was only a tiny flat. We had this chest of drawers and unknown to me there was a small cubby hole round the back of it - sort of secret hole - and he had found it, climbed in and fallen asleep. He used to come for walks with us- he’d trek for miles and miles!
Toast is a very elegant chap!
Oh - wow! I used to have a cat who would go for walks with us too! I always thought that was a neat trait. It’s funny the little spots they find to hide in and you can go crazy looking for them but they won’t let you find them until they are good and ready!
LOL Teens, that cat is an outlaw. There is something about those orange tabbies though, that is irresistable. He’s a beauty. Have you ever thought of hanging a bell on his collar? It might alert you to his whereabouts and hijinx.
My cat is a scratcher too and it drives me crazy. Maybe I should check her for a forked tongue.
WC
You know, that’s not a bad idea, really. I’m just afraid that Jam will take advantage of that and sneak up on him more than she already does if she can hear him coming. And you know, I love him to pieces, but I don’t think he’s the brightest of cats. LOL
Wow, Toast has certainly led an exciting life so far..
I love their names too..
WHY are marmalade kitties so adventurous, and/or seemingly always getting into trouble!
My first cat Angus was like Toast!
Our black and white cat Mimi also loved to drink water from ANYWHERE that wasn’t her bowl.
She especially loved the bathtub drips so I had to switch to a harmless cleaner(vinegar) so that she wouldn’t ingest any toxins..
Good post Teeni!
That’s a great reason to use harmless cleaners! I need to start doing that as well since Toast and Jam really seem to love the bathtub when TGH and I are through using it. But I agree - the marmalade or ginger (or just plain orange) cats sure are the troublemakers.
Toast is so cute! He was a cute little kitten too! I get it, nice names - jam and toast! Now, that’s adorable!
Wow, he’s put you through a lot, huh? I LOL just imagining you and the husband trying to track down a ladder…. unreal!
LOL. Yeah - he has put us through a LOT! I guess there is one in every family…
I do like cats. I really, really do. It would be nice though if their temperament were more like dogs and returned the affection without reservation.
That’s why our cats got relegated to the outdoors.
We don’t have animals any more. It’s too difficult when you want to spend part of the year traveling — and we are not going to travel with pets.
Since our outside cats are all gone, though, we’ve noticed something rather interesting. We have tons more birds and squirrels around and even see more wild turkeys.
I totally understand about wishing cats were more openly affectionate. I’m always shocked on the rare occasions when my female jumps on my lap. She is usually too busy letting us know how unhappy she is about the male cat and torturing him to keep him out of the same room we are in. LOL. Oh, and since I’ve starting keeping my cats indoors, there is definitely a lot more wildlife in our backyard too. But a lot of it is not necessarily good - moles, voles, and other critters all doing damage to our yard. Grrr!
Toast is an amazing cat - with an ability to get into tight places and to survive!
That’s what I miss about having Hazel (she was an outdoor cat) She kept our garden clear of irritating critters especially the squirrel that drives my dog batty.
Oh, that is very true! Toast always amazes/frustrates me! LOL. But I love him just the same. And yes, squirrels do not like cats. I’ve noticed before when my cats used to go outside that as soon as the squirrels in the trees spotted the cats on the ground, they’d start chattering away like they were angry!
Hi Teeni! Toast is such a cute little buddy! What an ordeal with your waterbed - I’m sure Toast was relieved to get out of there. Thanks for sharing some of his tales, they’re very cool! I stumbled and reviewed your home page, you really deserve it. I noticed that I am the first person to do a stumble review!
Oh, thanks so much, Bobby! Toast really is a character - you would love him! I really appreciate it. I haven’t been too technologically advanced these days but now that I am learning a bit more about these social sites, I was thinking of doing a post soon to let people know they could stumble me if they wanted. You are so awesome to do that for me.
