A Little Too Familiar
Posted By Teeni on May 30, 2008
Dear Teeni LastName, as a valued customer…blah, blah, blah.
Dear Teeni, take advantage of this week’s amazing savngs…blah, blah, blah.
…can we count on you, Teeni, to blah, blah, blah.
Maybe it’s just me and my phobias, but there is something unnerving about the fact that so many automated services address me by name. When I take note of how often this happens, it starts to freak me out just a bit.
When I open my email, I’m addressed by name. Some email even appears to have come FROM me, addressed TO me (sneaky spammers – but I’m smart enough to know I didn’t email myself). When I open my e-bay account, I’m welcomed back by name. When I’m typing a letter in Microsoft Word, the autocomplete feature wants to put my personal information in every time. Even receipts from the cash register at the grocery store call me Ms. LastName before telling me how much I’ve saved at their establishment.
It’s starting to get a little irritating, actually. It seems, every single application or email or service wants to use my name. I know that, in most cases, it is just canned writing with a variable for my personal name in there so I don’t know why they think that is going to be more favorable. To me, it’s not. It’s an unnecessary use of my personal name which I feel is part of my private information. When I do business with a person, they may like to have my name to refer to me but when I’m being serviced by some inanimate object or intangible programming code, it really isn’t necessary. Everybody thinks they need to have a file on me or know my information. The truth is, they don’t. If you are my friend, then you can call me Teeni. But if you are just some strange computer application, even if I have used you for years and years, you really don’t need to be using my name or getting that familiar. Back off. And no, I don’t kiss on the first date either.
I remember years ago, we used to be taught in business to use someone’s name a lot to appear more personal, make an easier sale, yadda yadda yadda. But since everyone is doing/has done that, isn’t the practice just kind of useless and moot, if not even harmful now? I mean when all three of my email accounts, my e-bay and etsy accounts, my online banking, my facebook and myspace accounts, my flickR and youtube accounts, and all of my online services accounts all are addressing me by my personal name, it is annoying and it is overkill, especially when you get canned emails and other messages from each application several times a week (not all of the applications do this but many do). I’m often stuck wondering how dangerous that is. If someone stole my computer, it wouldn’t be too hard to get all my information. Microsoft Word would give it up without the slightest bit of torture.
I think they are missing the point and instead of trying to be so darned personal, maybe they would get a better response from me if they would just back off. Freaking me out isn’t the best way to make me a customer or a get me to spend more with you or your service. Stop throwing my name around like that – it’s a privilege to use my name. I don’t like seeing it used so casually and so familiarly. Maybe I should get my name trademarked or copyrighted or something?
Popularity: 14% [?]
nothing is better than the spam emails addressing you about viagra and herbal products that will make me feel more manly. who really opens these emails??
I definitely can’t think of anyone who would open the emails. But even the ones from places you really do legitimate business with don’t really need to be getting all personal either.
I HATE those spam messages!
Me too! It’s bad enough when they are spammy, but then they try to get personal. Sheesh.
In a day and age where some 18 year old kid can hack into the heart of the defense system, it just makes sense to be a bit more cautious than we were 10 years ago.
Look at all the debit card hacking going on.
It’s downright scary.
Spammers? What do you call 500 spammers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: a good start
be well and thanks so much for the visits!
~m
Welcome Michael. And no, thank YOU for the beautiful blog posts!
I love the ease of the fantastic interwebs and I’ll be the first to admit I could not live without my email, blog, etsy, Paypal, and eBay accounts. But, I’ve learned, first hand, that you must be very, very careful about putting your name and info out into the wide open web. I was always of the mindset, “Nothing bad will ever happen to me”. Yeah, right. In January I had someone hack into several of my email accounts and my wordpress account. It is terribly frightening when you go to perform a routine task on your computer and you are locked out of your accounts. Argggghhhh!
Nothing like panic to set you in motion and make you more cautious. I then began the task of resetting somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 various accounts and passwords. Removed my full name from all accounts that allowed me to (most will let you get away with an initial)and haven’t had a problem since. So…please be careful everyone. It CAN and DOES happen!
Thanks 2LD! I’m glad you spoke up about it. This is the kind of thing (the hacking) that I think gets easier and easier because of all the different places we have to store personal information. I’m sorry it happened to you and that you had to go through with all that. Every time I question why people need my info the standard answer is always, “Oh, it’s ONLY to blah, blah, blah.” They all think they are harmless but with each place your information goes, so does the risk of your getting hacked or have your identity stolen rise exponentially.
Look at all the big retail companies that have gotten hacked into lately. These hackers get a lot of info about you when this happens. It is scary. My son has lost his license three times. I wonder who is running around pretending to be him. I always make up a last name that makes no sense like Thjkdjyydh and they accept it every time. I almost got caught by a spammer pretending to be Paypal. They said they needed to update my account and to do that they needed my account #. I deleted the e-mail and went to Paypal and it was a scam to get my account number. Scary.
Wow, Joan! I’m glad they didn’t get your info at the Paypal scam. I’ve heard of that one and seen that email myself. That one looked very real - like the Paypal site and everything. So yeah, those kinds of things really bother me and I hate to think of it happening to anyone I care about so I may sound like a raving lunatic at times about privacy issues but it’s really only because I care.
It’s not just you! I hate that I get spam addressed to me personally. Usually I just throw it out, but 20% of the time I actually take the time to call the place and DEMAND that they remove me from their mailing list. They are always completely taken aback that anybody would bother to do such a thing. But I like to make my point!
Perhaps you could try doing the same … if you are willing to use up your own time to call. It’s annoying, but it gets results!
I actually have removed my name from every possible snail mailing list ever. I don’t mind investing the time to protect myself. All it takes is for someone to give you a gift subscription to a magazine to get it all started again though, believe it or not. As far as emailing - a lot of the ones I get are from legitimate places I do business with and I always opt out of things unless there is a benefit of some kind to stay opted in, but they still find ways to include sending me stuff and considering it their “newsletter” or something and then there are just spams that make their way through somehow. It’s annoying as heck.
I just paid $30 for incredimail (love it) however, as soon as I got it, loads and loads of spam that I never had gotten before. So, they SOLD me a $30- program (I was honest to shell out the cash and not just copy it from somewhere) and they sold my name and all of my info too! Now I’m getting a boatload of SPAM! I am so pissed off! Yes, get your name trademarked
Great idea Teeni!
LOL. Thanks, JQ! Wow - I can’t believe that they sold your name and info like that, after charging you for the software. Sheesh. If they are going to make their money that way then the least they can do is give it to you for free! How aggravating. I’m sorry you had to deal with that but thanks for sharing so others can be aware.
When I get the e-mail telling me to increase my pecker size and they use my name, I’m wondering, “who told them?” :O
LOL. Me too!!!!!! Someone must be slandering me behind my back. LOL
My spam folder in my gmail is always full of penis enlargement spams addressed to dragonlady.
Guess they think YOU need a bigger one too! Welcome to the club, DL! LOL
right, spams are so annoying, they have your name right on the subject of their emails.
even if gmail deletes spams that are more than 30 days old, i do delete them manually, i just don’t like the clutter.
I am with you, Odette! I like to get rid of them early because I don’t like the clutter either! LOL. I’m glad I’m not the only one who does that. And yes, it’s so annoying to see your name right in the subject like that. Grrrrrr!!!
I agree with you
Dear Teeni Last Name:
My tears are dried.
My blog is fixed.
Nothing to buy here, folks.
You, my dear, are my friend so I’m honored to have you use my name - I could never consider you spam.
You need to be able to sing as well to qualify for Welshness.
I really loathe the touchy-feely approach from businesses - has completely the opposite effect to what they hope.
I also hate it when people call me “love” or “darling” etc who don’t love me and who aren’t my darlings. Except in Wales where I always thought it sounded wonderful to be called “cariad bach” - means little darling - but it just sounds gorgeous I think.
Nuts! I can’t sing to save my life. I can whistle pretty good though. But I doubt that qualifies so I guess I will have to be content with my own nationality. LOL.
Yeah, touchy-feely and business to me just don’t meld too well. Except in some circumstances when you know the person outside of business or have known them an extremely long time and have a good relationship. I think you know what I mean. And I agree with you - I’ve never liked being called names of endearment by people I have just met. Once I feel there is a good relationship going, then I don’t mind so much and I will do it in return. But I never do it condescendingly or with people I don’t care about. Cariad bach sounds very pretty - now I want to hear it with the right accent.
No matter what they call me Spambots just piss me off.
I hear ya. They are extremely annoying.
Agreed!
That’s why I call someone by Ma’am or Sir . . and not their name.
You are too good, Ms. Red!
I wouldn’t mind “Dear Customer” or something, really from some of those places. It’s just they all want to get so in-your-face personal. Sheesh.
I sympathize; it IS creepy to have total strangers apparently cognisant of not only one’s last name but other important and (one would think), private details.
I was accidentally blocking my own name (as I too got emails apparently from myself(in a website email service), but from a disguised “me” ..so I blocked that address and low and behold it was MY address? WEIRD.
OH by the way the person who got Incredimail?
I have had that program for over 7 years (full version) and have NEVER been spammed with the addresses that I have configured with it..
They do say that they don’t sell or distribute people’s email addresses and I do believe them.
It is a wise thing to have a couple of extra email addresses that are “disposable”; you can use them for online shopping etc,and not have to worry that they are getting into your own private
address book etc..(Just an idea)
Sorry for being so long winded..
That is freaky about your own email address. That would make me be on alert. Oh, and thanks for responding to the Incredimail comment. I don’t have any experience with them. And your comments are always welcome no matter how long!
It is hard to add anything to your splendid posting Teeni!
I agree with EVERY word!
Perhaps you’d like to consider trying our new anti-personal spam filter. A mere $500 a day to free yourself of all this internet highway detritus, it could lead to a new de-junked and depersonalised you….etc…..etc
They always sound just like that! Boy, you got it down almost word for word! LOL. Thanks, Poet!