Don’t Mess with the Teeni
Posted on June 29, 2008 - Filed Under I'm Not Perfect
You all know my sweet and goofy side. But I wasn’t always all sweetness and light. There is a definite nastier side of me which I hardly need to let out anymore but this side used to get out a lot more than she does now. The following story is one example of this. I actually mentioned this to someone at their blog and said I would post about it sometime and I forgot whose blog I was on when I mentioned it so if it’s you, then go ahead and remind me when you figure it out. 
First a little background - I am not allergic to poison ivy. I don’t know why but I have never had it. I sometimes think it could be because I always had such dry skin that there wasn’t enough oil to spread it around or something. Honestly, I don’t have a clue. Before you go thinking “Oh, she just never really touched it,” let me assure you that I have. Other persons whom I was with in the same vicinity have gotten it and gotten it bad. I never did. But this quirk of mine came in really handy in the past as you shall see.
A lifetime ago, I had a house built. The general contractor for the development was a real jerk. He bailed out on his contract to provide shrubs and lawns, he let his child run rampant through the unfinished development and on dangerous equipment, he threatened customers and generally treated them with disrespect after getting his hands on their money. I could go on but I wouldn’t want to be called obsessed. Anyway, suffice to say that I came to not want to have anything to do with the guy and didn’t want him to bother with me either.
We had moved into our house already, but the development was still being built. I came home from work one day to find my backyard flooded. I stepped into the back yard and my foot sank down into a couple of inches of water. I immediately looked to our lawn sprinkler, but we had not left it on. So what could have caused this? I sloshed out to the sprinkler and on closer inspection, I found that our hose had been disconnected from the lawn sprinkler, and that the spigot at the house had been turned on and left on. Hmmm. All that water was actively washing away the building materials that my ex-husband and I had in the back yard to build our beautiful retaining wall. I was beyond fuming. I was practically rabid.
I confronted the GC to see if he knew anything about our hose. “Oh yeah,” he said. “I told ’so-and-so’ he could use it for ’such-and-such.’ Now I don’t remember anymore who so-and-so was. I know he was someone hired by the GC to do work around the housing development. I don’t remember what the work was that he had been doing either. But I do remember that there was always a delay of a couple of seconds at the spigot at our house when the water was turned on before it would come out of the spigot. So my thinking is that so-and-so disconnected our hose for whatever his evil purposes might have been, turned on our spigot, and then figured it didn’t work since the water didn’t come out immediately. He then probably just walked away, never bothering to close the spigot since he thought it didn’t work. I can understand this but there are just no words for my anger towards the GC for even allowing someone else to use our hose when we were living there and we were the ones paying the water bill. Who the heck did he think he was? He already knew I was not his biggest fan since he had previously called me a pain in the @ss (I then called him an @sshole - funny thing about me is I tend to treat people the way they treat me - it’s like a reactionary thing). I was most mad about the retaining wall though. It was a really nice two-tiered garden wall with drainage and everything done right. My ex and I had worked extremely hard on it.
Fortunately, our wall was not ruined, but we did have a larger than normal water bill that we submitted to the GC to pay for that month. We ended up wanting to prevent anything like this from happening in the future and eventually we had a fence put up to keep the GC and his minions out of our yard. But before we got the fence up, I ventured into the as-yet empty lots of land behind our home and dug up some poison ivy I found growing there, and planted it all around the perimeter of my yard. I was able to do it with my bare hands since I’m not allergic. I figured this way, if we were not at home and the GC or his goons snuck onto our property, we’d soon find out. Muhahaha!
That’s right - you don’t mess with this biotch if you don’t want the ivy iotch! 
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27 Responses to “Don’t Mess with the Teeni”
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Yikes!! Thank goodness the wall wasn’t damaged. You’re one tough cookie, Teeni, haha :0)
I don’t know what I would’ve done if that wall had been damaged. Probably I’d be in jail right now.
Mmmwaaaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!
You’re so evil!
I have my moments. LOL.
Lovely! How appropriate!
I thought so too!
Glad I didn’t know ya back then.. heh heh…but I am so sweet you probably would have eaten poison ivy for me.
Sure, unless I’m allergic on the INSIDE!
You’re not alone! I live in an area with a lot of poison ivy and the boyfriend and I go camping every now and then. I have never had it affect me, but the boyfriend always gets the reaction.
We must just be like super heroes or something.
Heehee. Yeah, I like the idea of being a super hero - cool!
First, auto posts rock!
Second I am totally with you on the “I tend to treat people the way they treat me - it’s like a reactionary thing” thing!
That is so strange that you don’t get poison ivy, I had it once it sucked bug time!
I have seen people get some really bad cases of poison ivy and had it pass from an arm or leg to their face or other “sensitive” areas. I certainly do not envy them and I hope to never lose my superpower. LOL.
I few more posts like this and you can change your user name to Meeni.
Ah, it’s just another side to me and I’ve been called worse, I suppose. LOL. I guess I could sign my rants that way though - good idea!
“That’s right - you don’t mess with this biotch if you don’t want the ivy iotch!”….hahaha, I would never mess with you anyway, but that is a line I won’t soon forget
Oh, Romi - I keep forgetting I have a little picture to post for you one of these days. It was something I found during one of my grocery store adventures. I am going to go create a reminder for myself now so I won’t forget to post it soon.
Haha! That’s so badass of you!
Also very restrained. I probably would have completely lost my shit and been so angry I couldn’t think straight for weeks.
I get that angry too but it did feel kinda good to get it out with my little poison ivy plan. I guess the satisfying image I had of him with swollen itchy ankles kept me from losing it. I guess I really AM evil sometimes.
omg. I have to say that our GC was a decent man - we had a few issues but he comes through above and beyond sometimes, too so it balances out.
but the poison ivy border to your property is GREAT! We joke abt doing the same to keep the neighborhood kids out of our woods… or an electric fence or ???
Well, I’m glad you had a good GC. I hope not many people have to deal with the annoyances I had to deal with. An electric fence is a good idea too. Except for dummies like me who have to touch them three times to figure out what the heck is happening.
Some people are so ignorant with their people skills. I’m glad you stuck up for yourself! That poison ivy trick is awesome!
Yeah, he was definitely lacking in the people skills department but I think he liked to fancy himself rather an exceptional salesman - more like a con man. But I have to be thankful things turned out well in the end.
Just after I posted that comment I saw “Readers who viewed this page, also viewed: “Teeni’s Tips - Put A Sock In It”. It made me laugh. On the weekend I was doing laundry and found a hole in JRK’s sock. I threw the sock away and felt a little guilty about it, thinking to myself, Teeni would have kept this and found a use for it!
LOL. That’s funny that you thought that! I don’t mean to make you feel guilty though - just passing along little tips when I can.
So did the GC or “his goons” ever go on your property again?
I don’t know for certain, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t. It wasn’t long after that that we had a fence up. And I had other little booby traps set for them too, so that I’d know.
Sounds eminently reasonable to me Teeni - the jerk got off lightly!
Yeah he did, I think. I hope he is no longer in the business so that he doesn’t ruin anyone else’s first home buying experience.
That is such a crazy but great idea! Did it work, that you know of?
As far as I know, he and his goons never came into our yard again. So I’d say that worked.
This was a great post…I enjoyed every word and commend your control…I would have wanted to run that jerk over.
Hoping all goes well and really thought the poison ivy was a nice touch.
I don’t know what auto post is..
Dorothy from grammology
remember to hug your gram
grammology.com
Hmm. Running him over. There was a steamroller on the premises for a while. I should have thought of that. LOL. Well, I guess I’m not that mean after all. But the idea of running him over DID make me happy for just a minute.
Oh, auto post is a pre-written post that you schedule to “publish” at a predetermined future time. WordPress has a quick and easy way to do that and it is a great feature.
REminds self that
Yeah, you don’t need any poison ivy on top of everything else!
That is just so beautiful. It’s like poetry to me. What a wonderful idea, Teeni. I never thought you had it in you. You’re right “DON”T MESS WITH THE TEENI.” It’s like caning someone with poison ivy. OMG, I should wrap the bottom of my cane in poison ivy. I don’t get it either.
Wow - there are a bunch of us who don’t get it! Neat. We should start a club. I so rarely am ever in an exclusive club. We could be the Poison Ivy Eaters. Or something. And I’d definitely help you put some poison ivy on that cane of yours if you’d let me borrow it once in a while when I saw someone who needed a good itch. heehee.
So and so told me you are tough Teeni! If sos and so is right, I definitely wouldn’t do such and such
I could tell you were a smart man the first time I visited your blog, Mr. Revell.
Why I nevah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny stuff Teeni. We all have an inner biatch! It’s all good!
Yeah, it gets weird when mine rears her ugly head. But she’s gotta come out once in a while or I’d simply explode, and nobody wants to clean up THAT mess. heehee.
ROFLMAO!!!! Oh I love it!!! Go Teeni! LOL Ihope the rolled in it LOL
Me too! Thanks! I do think I saw him wearing taller socks after that.
Hahahahaha, you rock Teeni!
Thanks Hay! Mostly I just roll, but when I rock, man, do I eva! LOL.
haha I’ve definitely seen another side to you now. I’m a bit scared.
Don’t worry. I’m usually good natured and I can’t imagine you ever doing anything to provoke my alter ego.
Way to go, Teeni! Seems we are both absent from the blogosphere at the same time, but I had to drop by and say hello while I have me some internet access.
You are so sweet! I’ve missed you all. I can’t wait until you are back full-time. I’ll be waiting so drop in when you can!
LOL! Teeni’s revenge. I love it. Too bad you didn’t have security cameras - you might have caught them in the throes of a major itch. Way to go, Teens.
Annie
Oh, that would have been great! I hope it made him paranoid. Sometimes people need to be reminded that when they do things that other people can do things too. Not that they always will, but if you provoke the wrong person…you know what I mean. And this guy definitely needed to be reminded of that.
You mentioned your temper over at my place. Sounds to me like you handled that quite well. My reaction would have involved a baseball bat and property damage.
I’ve never had poison ivy, but I’m not sure I’ve ever come in contact with it either. Hmmm… I wonder. 
Oh, that’s where I mentioned it! That’s right. Yeah, it’s good I didn’t have a baseball bat or other similar weapons at my disposal! LOL. Uh-oh. I hope you don’t find out that you ARE allergic!
Hilarious! I kept waiting for the part where you said, “And then they peed in my yard.” After you’d planted the poison ivy of course.
Actually, i think they did that BEFORE the whole poison ivy thing in my foundation (and everyone else’s in the neighborhood). But that’s just another example of what kind of sickos they were and why nobody in their right mind would want to have dealings with them. Grrr.