Reconstructing Teeni - Phase I, Part IV
Posted on September 4, 2008 - Filed Under Reconstructing Teeni
Those of you who have been following my reconstruction saga already know about the last surgeon I met with. You know it wasn’t the most pleasant experience. But there is more to the story. Get your favorite beverage and read on.
By now you know that she, of course, ended up examining me (why not - I was already dressed for it, sheesh - dagnabbed johnny from hell) and then we talked about the possible surgeries I could choose from. I’m pretty much a candidate for any of them at this point so it’s really my choice. I already knew this from my mastectomy surgeon so I didn’t need her to examine me to tell me this.
Anyway, you may as well know the different types of reconstructions available. These are not the technical names of the surgeries but they are easier to type and to say so I’m going with these*:
- Implants - With each of these types of implants, expanders are used to stretch the skin out over a period of time and then an implant is placed either under or over the chest wall muscle
- Saline
- Silicone
- Flap Procedures
- Tissue is taken from the patient’s own back and created into a breast mound
- Tissue is taken from the patient’s own butt cheek and created into a breast mound
- Tissue is taken from the patient’s own abdomen and created into a breast mound (this is probably the reason that I was asked to remove my pants when putting on the dreaded johnny)
Of course those are simplified descriptions and there are others but those are the main ones.
I am not sure how I feel about each of these. There are advantages and disadvantages to each and there are risks associated with each. I think the implants are a good idea because they are a quicker recovery time and a less invasive surgery. I’m not sure how comfortable I am with silicone though. Because of it’s past history, it scares me. The back flap procedure doesn’t seem bad but it will leave another scar and the skin is not a good a match as is from the abdomen area. The abdominal flap procedure is a more involved surgery and leaves quite a large scar across the abdomen but also gives you an instant tummy tuck at the same time. Personally, I think I’d like to lose weight naturally though and skip the scar.
Anyway, you can imagine all the options and pros and cons that have been going through my head. Finally I figured I’d ask the doctor what she would opt for in my situation. Well, I have to say that although I think she tried to remain politically correct, she totally copped out. Here I am asking a fellow female for her opinion and she tells me, “Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do in your situation. I’m not in your situation. And I wouldn’t know which way I would choose to go.” I can almost see her not wanting to influence me but I asked for an OPINION. And believe me, I totally “get” that she is not in my situation (the unfeeling biotch). But if she were in my situation and these were the options available to her, my question was which would she be most likely interested in pursuing. Is that so hard? She can’t put herself in my shoes for a bit? I mean, her answer was totally unhelpful and useless. Not even something as simple as, “Well, I’d like less of a scar,” or “I’d go for the back flap and then get a totally cool tattoo.” Nothing. Zip. Nada.
But that’s not all! To add insult to injury, after she told me how she thought I wasn’t ready, she did tell me about this great book called, A Woman’s Decision. It’s all about breast reconstruction and the different methods. They “have a copy in the office but it is an old edition and there are probably newer editions out,” she tells me. I’m totally welcome to borrow it. And I can loan it for a mere deposit of $30. I calmly walked out and refused the loan when I checked out at the front desk. I told the woman at the front that it was obviously so valuable that I couldn’t in good conscience take the only copy in case another woman came in and needed it.
Then I got in my car and grumbled all the way home about who the hell do they think they are trying to charge me a deposit of $30 for a book that is out of date and that I can buy outright for cheaper than that price. And if it is such a great book, why do they only have one? It just goes to show where their priorities are. Unbelievable. Oh, I grumbled many, many things on that ride home. So yeah, this woman was totally right about one thing. I wasn’t ready at all.
For HER to do my reconstruction.
__________
* In all of the procedures, a nipple can be created in a following procedure or tattooed on or both.
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32 Responses to “Reconstructing Teeni - Phase I, Part IV”
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HA! No doubt, she can take her expertise and stick it where the sun don’t shine.
What an experience Teeni, boy do I hope you find a better surgeon!
Thanks, Kami - I’d have to say it was one of the worst experiences I’ve had. Maybe I expected more compassion from a female doctor and set myself up. I don’t know. But I know they aren’t all like this.
Good decision!! I wouldn’t be wanting HER doing it, either. What a biotch alright!
I hope this saga takes a positive turn and ends well … I’m sure you WILL find the right surgeon.
Thanks, Hannah - I’ll get there. Just gotta keep grinding along, I guess. **shrugs**
Hmmm, I’d be leaning towards the implants, myself, just because I wouldn’t want more wounds to heal. I’m not a meanie doctor, but that’d be my opinion.
I’m with Hannah, you will find Dr Right in the end, keep strong. Or as us Kiwi’s say, Kia Kaha.
You know I’m kind of leaning that way myself right now, but I’d like to know more about how long they last etc. Ooooh - I like that. “Kia Kaha.” I’m gonna be borrowing that line a lot. Thanks for teaching me that!
The tummy tuck sounds like my kind of option.
LOL. Yeah, there are definitely advantages to that one. I’m not thrilled about another scar to add to the collection but it is certainly a possibility in my case plus the breasts made using abdominal tissue are much more realistic to the touch.
You did the right thing! It doesn’t sound like that place does many reconstructive surgeries. I imagine they cater to trophy wives and gullible young women with low self-esteem. Go find yourself someplace classier.
Yeah, it does seem they cater to a certain clientele. I will definitely be looking elsewhere.
Another consultation that does not inspire confidence - dear oh dear - you would’ve thought she’d at least be fit to advise you from a professional basis as to which she believed produced the most satisfactory results and put you in touch with an ex-patient to talk to.
As for being so possessive about a book that can probably be picked up for only a few dollars on e-bay or Amazon! Doesn’t really smack of professionalism and compassion either.
In fact if one method works best over all the rest, surely she can tell you in a consultation what she believes will work best for your particular body-type/medical history!
Poor Teeni - doesn’t sound like you’re having a lot of luck with these clowns!
However re the implants do they not have much better ones these days with oil in rather than silicone and more leak-proof? Mind you, you probably know the whole list of ingredients in each one by now!
At this rate, you’ll have to retrain as an expert to advise yourself yourself!
You’re right - I may soon be an expert when it comes to these things. I am certainly learning a lot more than I had ever hoped to. I may even pick up a used copy of that book for $1.99 to compare procedures from today and ten years ago.
Hannah, shouldn’t you be of the coast of florida pestering the good folks down here?
Oh, wait, tha’s Hanna
sorry
Hell, there is no possible way I can relate to your situation and I would (and will if you so desire) give a suggestion, an oppinion, or whatever. I can AT LEAST appreciate thaT you are in a difficult situation and offer a modicum of compassion.
and uh,
what’s wrong with trophy wifes
I hope to have one when I am an old rich pervert.
LOL@ your comment to Hannah - trust me, this Hannah is the sweetest thing to have ever stormed my blog, nothing like that nasty old hurricane Hanna. Hey Oz, you are so sweet - I’ll listen to any opinions because they do sometimes make me examine things from a different angle. No promises that I’ll take any of them up, but I’ll be glad to entertain them. I’m hoping getting my new breast will help me become a trophy wife.
Sorry to hear- I don’t want to play devils advocate but on one hand I really can see a doctor not wanting to tell a patient their opinion. I imagine they don’t want to influence people’s decisions too much. What if she said flap and you went ahead and got the abdominal flap… well I know a lady at church who had a tummy tuck and regrets it- she lives in pain now. So say you had terrible pain from the abdominal flap one and that was the one she said she would do… I think she is just trying to cover her butt from lawsuits and such. But I can understand you wanting her to give you that sort of opinion. My ob on the other hand is a nut- he’ll say things like “if you were my wife you would have do this and this and then have another c - section!” Which I did I had three in the end because of an emergency one- not my choice, but the doctor (s) (mainly just one) were adamant once a c-section always a c-section.
The book rental thing is juvenile- that’s a tactic that should be left to the crazy librarian who runs the Bookmobile….. “You ain’t getting this book unless you pay and pay dearly!” You all are patients- they should make all the information you need available to you free of charge.
Oh, I totally get the devil’s advocate part. I know they have to cover their butts. But sheesh, if someone was so well trained in that area on how to read people you would think she would know that I was capable of listening to an opinion yet still make my own decisions. Honestly, I’m thinking maybe she hasn’t come across too many people who don’t already have a cement-head, set in the direction of getting that nose job or breast augmentation. I think I presented as someone who wanted to discuss things. I expected her to maybe say something like, “Well, considering you don’t want to lose the muscle from your abdomen that maybe this type of reconstruction would be better for you,” or something to that effect. Again, I think the docs only see consultations from THEIR point of view and not the patients. It would have been nice if she had tried to spend the few minutes trying to get to know me and asking me questions rather than examining me and then telling me all the surgical options I already knew about and then topping it off by judging that I wasn’t ready. And yeah, the whole book thing was just the icing on the cake. It would have been better to recommend the book and tell me I could get it at the store or online than trying to get a deposit from me. I mean seriously - if they are that hard up for money and cutting corners then take the freaking free coffee machine out of the waiting area and buy a couple more copies of that book. Sheesh.
Yikes - your OB does sound like a nut. Last I knew a C-section did NOT automatically mean all future births would be C-sections - heck I know that and I’ve never had a child of my own.
When my hubs had cancer, the young doctor who diagnosed it actually cried in his office when he was talking to us. But, when his biatch in the billing office sent the insurance claim to the WRONG INSURANCE company, and I called her to ask her to refile, she said they only file insurance once and that’s it. I wrote a letter to the doctor, (this was a very long, drawn out story that won’t fit in comments) he basically sued us for payment of the ENTIRE BILL! yeah, he was soooo compassionate, for his $$$.
And what is up with that deposit for a book? doesn’t she know you can check it out from the library for nothing? And, if she can’t offer an opinion about which surgery to have, why should you read a book she offered an opinion on???
I’m so sorry about you and your husband’s experience. What a horrible thing to go through. Good point about the book opinion. I liked that. Very true.
I was going to say just what Kami said, only not quite so nicely.
I’d probably opt for the tummy tuck. Though, I can’t help but think about “butt boobs.” Not to be insensitive, but that was the first thing that popped into my head.
LOL @ butt boobs! You are funny and thanks for the giggle. Heh - maybe I can get them to move abdomen flesh and if they can take my belly button and move that too - then I’ll have an instant nipple. LOL. Oh, wait that won’t work - I have an innie.
Always good to see you, DL!
I would do a tummy tuck probably, but I already have a belly scar from surgery when I was younger.
To be honest, good plastic surgeons can hide scars pretty well. It really will just depend on what you’re more comfortable with. I would check around on the internet for sites with women who have had these types of surgeries and see if they have any advice for you.
Good luck, Teeni!
Thanks MJ! You are right that most good plastic surgeons can hide scars well. I guess I do just have to find one I’m comfortable with. There are just so many variables with insurance and what they will pay for, etc. I’m definitely going to be checking out some cancer sites and see if I can find some local information from other survivors I connect with. Thanks very much! I appreciate it!
ooft. what a crazy woman. can we just cut hers off? people like that dont belong to our gender…
Ooh - thank you! I loved that idea! LOL. The other thing I’m realizing is that some (not ALL, mind you) doctors just don’t want to allow us to be the boss of our own bodies. This whole experience is showing me so many different schools in the doctor world.
“expanders are used to stretch the skin out over a period of time”
How long of a period of time?
Very good question. Although each case is different and each doctor handles things on a slightly different schedule, I think the process usually occurs over a period of a couple of months, with returning visits to the doc in between to inject more fluid and stretch the skin more. It’s sort of like the opposite of braces on your teeth. The final step is deciding whether to have nipples created and/or tattooed on. This link here has images and more information of one brave young lady’s story - she’s a beautiful soul to have shared her experience. http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.myselftogetheragain.org/images/6.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.myselftogetheragain.org/process.htm&h=390&w=408&sz=67&hl=en&start=19&um=1&usg=__iGLRJmmTZFSuqfq0Rxddu-3yRA0=&tbnid=Szd5lFbV2ii_XM:&tbnh=119&tbnw=125&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbreast%2Breconstruction%2Bstory%26start%3D18%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN
good going on finding a better doctor and umm, personally I would chose none of those
I will just stickw ith what i have 
I love you and good luck!
I hope you never do have to chose one of those. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Thanks, Kaylee!
for what its worth, my friend has silicon implants, and they feel and look like rocks on her chest…
im sure every surgeon is different, but im not a fan of them..
Thanks, Slyde. I do appreciate hearing your opinion and seeing a male perspective. I have been hearing that the problem with implants is that they harden or can harden. I’ll definitely have to learn more about them before any cutting commences on my body!
I didn’t read, only took the picture tour, and that alone was heart breaking and tear jerking. The end result looked very nice. Now I’m off to blow my nose.
Didn’t mean to upset you. But it sure does give you a different appreciation for what some women go through and how it might affect how “womanly” they feel, huh? I think this young woman was very brave to put her story out there but I’m glad she did because she inspires me. The end result looks very nice - she (the girl in the story) did say that they are hard and kinda numb (I think the skin numbness will go away with time but they are implants and have no nerve endings in them so they must take some getting used to). So anyway, now you know what I look like on one side anyway, which in a way, I think is even weirder than on both sides. **shrugs**
just read that womans story you posted and now, I am really sad.
but, you are right it would help people that are going through this thing. I am sorry but, I feel for these people that I hear of that have cancer no matter what type it is because of my experiences! Okay, I have to go now, I am really not feeling that great!
Sorry to hear that.
Just so you know, I followed your advice and got myself my favorite beverage… OK, now. Once you find the doc that has the skills AND the comfort factor, AND you get references - I think this will help considerably with the option exploration. My first thought would be the implants but again, that is first thought w/o any real study - I just hate pain and the others sound like more places to give pain.
HUGS to you! I know this is a difficult process. I hope it’s helping to share it all.
I should ask what that favorite beverage is! Is it a beeyah (spoken with a Boston accent)? LOL. Yes, I think once I feel I have a decent doctor then I can discuss all the options in more depth. I know - I don’t like pain either but then again, a little extra pain for a shorter period of time and better results is worth considering too. I really do think it is helping me to share because it helps me hash things out in my head and also I can distance myself a little bit and take a better look once it’s down in writing. Thanks buddy! Hugs right back at ya!
I thought the newer silicone implants were supposed to be safer than the old and more natural than the saline. And, there are cosmetic issues with saline implants, such as wrinkling. Of course, you know more! But, don’t let yourself get put off because the older silicone implants leaked. Those were a bad design, and the new ones (according to Wikipedia) are a gel-based that is resistant to leaking.
I think you are right that the newer ones are much better than the ones of yore, Dan. But they all can have issues like hardening and forming scar tissue in addition to leaking. I’m still planning on learning more before I make any decisions.
How frustrating and infuriating for you. And what a difficult decision to make. But i am sure you will research it well and do what is right for you.
x
Thanks, Casdok! It is frustrating. But I don’t give up easy and I would like to achieve some sort of symmetry, so I will keep going!
I feel for you T. What a difficult choice you are facing. Don’t you wish you could talk to someone who has been through the same thing? I wonder if you can join a group on-line where you can hear other women and their experiences? Here from women who have had a similar experience but chose different surgical options and how they fared? Maybe there is something like this, but if so, you’ve probably already done it ‘cuz you seem to be very on top of things - btw, thank you for looking out for me… you rock!
Yes, JQ - that on-line group thing is a good idea and I’m looking into it. It’s funny but when I was first diagnosed I didn’t want anything to do with any groups. I didn’t want to be surrounded by other cancer survivors. It’s like I didn’t want to be part of a group because it was like admitting I had cancer, or making it a bigger part of my life or something. I don’t know. I wonder if other survivors feel the same way. Well, I may actually bring this topic up when I find a group to join and see what people say! LOL.
Your statement “the unfeeling……” is an understatement. I really think that there should be a massive movement to teach the medical profession to be kind and sympathetic. You have got this forum to let off steam. Just imagine the plight of some other unfortunate women who have no access to letting off steam! This is awful and only adds to me aversion to members of the medical profession. Incidentally, you can add lawyers, bureaucrats and politicians to that list of people that I have an allergy to.
Thanks, Rummy. I feel awful for the women who have no access to letting off steam! I don’t know what I’d do without my blog. I think my blog helps keep me out of jail sometimes.
LOL at your allergy to members of the medical profession, lawyers, bureaucrats and politicians! I think I have that same allergy too. 
I hate a-hole doctors. F her. I just had a surgery consult yesterday, and my doctor let me do my whole medical research presentation first, and answered all my weird questions like “How many patients have died on you?”
Not that you asked my opinion about what I’d do if I were in your shoes, but maybe I’d go with a flap procedure I’m not sure about it, but aren’t they permanent, unlike implants, that you have to keep getting every 10 years or so? Side note: my friend got a tummy tuck Tuesday and says it was the worst pain she ever felt, so maybe what I’m suggestion is wrong. I’m sorry you have to figure all of this out, it just in a word, SUCKS!
Thanks, Ghetto Girl. I think you let out some steam for me!
My initial response was to go with a flap procedure because of its permanence and that it was my own tissue. I don’t like the idea of giving up a stomach muscle but there are more than one way to do it. So I really need to find a surgeon who knows what he or she is doing and who has experience with different procedures. Thanks for your kind words and sympathy - I appreciate it! Hugs to you!
Hi, Teeni. I’m glad that Dr won’t be doing your surgery! I understand about cover their own a$$, but like someone here said, why couldn’t she put you in touch with people who had it done. I had one specialist ask me to do that for a patient of hers, and this was over something very minor. Not to give advice but to show her the result.
Most people would be more than willing to share their experience.
And the book! It’s not like she couldn’t afford to purchase the updated version! More than one copy too.
Take care, Teeni.
BD
It’s funny you mention that because I think I would readily volunteer to be a reference to another patient in a similar situation as me. So if I am willing to do it as modest as I am, then I imagine others out there are also willing. The whole book thing just makes me crazy. I saw used copies on line for as low as $1.99!
Oooh, you were right in your last post, there WAS a lot more to this visit! That book thing in the end really got me….$30 deposit on an OLD book…has she ever visited Amazon.com and seen the prices? Hahahaha….and if you are looking for something that feels realistic maybe the abdomen flap is a good bet, and if there is a scar you can get those scars removed with laser treatment can’t you? (I think…)…in any case the fact that it is a more involved surgery means it requires a lot of consideration; maybe your next potential surgeon can offer up some examples or feedback from other people that have had this type of surgery…good luck!
LOL - Romi! Yeah, can you believe it? I saw some of those books on line for as low as $1.99! Unreal. I think with the abdomen flap that the scar will fade over time but it never completely goes away, even with laser treatments. There is too much tissue removed and too deep an incision. Still, it’s something I’d consider - I’m not ruling out any procedures yet. I don’t like the idea of another scar but then again, I don’t like the idea of having only one breast either. Maybe I could get a tattoo over the scar of a little chain going around my waist? And a piercing on one end with a little tiny chain dangling? LOL. I shouldn’t get so creative sometimes - it could be dangerous!
Thanks for your encouraging words. I really feel you in my court Romi and I do appreciate it more than words can say. 
Hugs to you!
You didn’t upset me. It just simply moving. Have you given any thought to posting before and after pictures?
Oh, good. And yes, it really is moving. You’d have to be made of stone not to feel something with those photos. Actually, I am considering doing photos. Well, I am most definitely going to be taking them. I will have to see how comfortable I am with them when I’m done with the process. But I do think I will feel okay since I will have final choice and edits/crop options.
Oh gosh, Teeni, how awful to be treated that way and what a difficult decision to make.
If I were you (and I am not) I would try to speak to people who have had the various procedures carried out and take a look at the end results. I understand absolutely what you mean re your reluctance to join Survivors Groups. I felt exactly the same after what happened to me - it’s like formally taking on a label somehow. But here i think it would be useful - it’s not for therapy is it? It’s practical help you need and a large cross section of surgical/implant results to see so you can make your decision.
But actually I guess there’s a lot of that type of info out there on the web without having to do much in the way of joining groups.
I don’t envy you the decision but it is very important that you make a sound one and that you find a surgeon who will treat you like a person, not just a specimen.
Good luck, Teeni.
Hi RB! In the beginning, when I was first diagnosed, I didn’t want to join any groups, but now it does seem like a smart thing to do for the reasons you mention and for the support and comraderie I would receive going through all this. I am taking things in steps because I don’t want to rush into anything anymore when it comes to my body/health. Thanks so much for your kind words and for being here for me. Hugs to you!
If one reconstructed a breast from a butt cheek, then one could have great t&a all rolled up into one.
AH - HAHAHA, OMG! Evyl, you are too funny. Great comment. Thanks for that.
Ya do know that I luv ya doncha?
Take care darlin’. I know that the right decision will come to you in due time and I wish you the best.
Aw, thanks buddy! I get the feeling you care of you wouldn’t be wasting all your talent on the great comments over here. And I really do appreciate it, just so you know. Love ya right back!
oh i feel for you teeni, the pictures on the link are heartbreaking indeed. you are one brave soul and i admire you so much for that.
stay strong and of a good courage!
Thanks so much, Odette. Yes, it is hard to see what you have to go through to get reconstructed, especially after all you’ve already gone through with the cancer and treatment. But I will try to stay strong. I really want to be symmetrical again and I think that will keep me going. Hugs to you!
I think I’m a bit squeamish on the whole silicon implant idea… I remember the *shock, horror* news stories way back about how they leaked and all sorts of nasty things like that. I’m sure they are all a lot better now, but still…..
Tough decisions you need to make - and I would have thought guidence into reaching a good decision for you would be the hallmark of a good reconstruction surgeon. Good luck in the continued hunt!
They scare me too even though I’m sure they are better than the used to be. And what a good point about the guidance as a hallmark of a good reconstruction surgeon! Very true! And thanks for your good wishes. I appreciate it!
I didn’t even get that hurricane comment at first! But now I understand
No, I’m not the bothering/blustering type, really
I have a bunch of teasers at my blog. LOL. You’re a good sport, Hannah. Hugs.